What do we know about Vulnerability?
One simple thing that we can all understand is that every single person can be and has been vulnerable at some point.
If everyone can be vulnerable why do we work so hard to pretend we are not?
Being vulnerable has been labeled as something too controversial, that if introduced to an everyday life conversation, it can literally jolt people’s heads back in amusement. Rightfully so, after all being perceived as weak and flawed invites in manipulation and the insecurities of others being reflected back at you. Ouch… No thanks!
Well, that’s true. There are many short-term downsides to being a straight shooter, a bold and honest son of a gun; people can laugh at you, can diminish your opinions and most definitely make you feel small and stupid(Jikes! maybe another day). On the other hand, in the long term; you can get more respect, better friends, more confidence and more peace of mind. It’s flipping hard man, but oh mama! is it worth it!
We are so used to keep appearances that we forget how to bring our true selves to the forefront. Ever so vigilant to any threats that may reveal that big nose under our masks. Afraid to show our true self and get hurt. (your gonna get hurt anyways Bob)
Accept your flaws too
Accepting your vulnerability can be scary but is the only thing that can bring a deep and meaningful connection with others, We are so scared to be judged and being vulnerable around others but we also desperately seek it with our intimate relations. It can be incredibly hard if your main priority is to maintain your image, sometimes spend so much time building a sturdy wall around us that we forget to let in the people we care about.
Those who prioritize over-protecting themselves and avoid getting hurt, are the same that fail to recognize and appreciate the intimacy in close relationships.
Having a Wholesome life also means being truthful with yourself and others around, being comfortable with every aspect of yourself; does that need improvement and does who are perfect as they are. A life where you don’t have to pretend or lie to yourself or others.
Being Brave enough to expose our true selves is not an easy task and being vulnerable alone is not good enough to bring your insecurities to a halt.
To successfully strip ourselves from that heavy armor we carry, it is mandatory that we accompany the risk of being vulnerable with extreme ownership. We must know who we are and what we stand for; accepting the good and the bad part of ourselves without judgment. Putting yourself out there and having faith that someone will be ok with it. There is no point to open ourselves up, let other people step on our feelings and make us feel worse about who we are. The right way to express our true feelings is with the intention to share and connect not to impress or to be liked. ‘This Is Me’ that is the message we try to convey not; ‘This Is Me’, but if you like I can be something else.
Once we make ourselves vulnerable to other, we are risking ourselves to be judged, A lot of people will tell you straight up, you suck! (feels bad man). some people will tell that they like you and that you are cool.
Not everybody is gonna like the real you! In fact, a lot of people will be uncomfortable with your level of honesty and that’s fine; Actually, This a tool; with the capacity to act as a filter, a big filter that separates the people who don’t give fudge about the real us from does who actually care.
Vulnerability is the deepest form of connection that we can receive from another human being. Everybody has that special someone who knows all our secrets. That has seen that unfiltered, uncensored and ultimately raw part of who we really are inside. How do you feel when you are around this person? Probably very relaxed and secure, like can say anything without fear of being judged.
I would love to sugarcoat this, but we are the force that drives our relationships to a certain level of trust. Always keeping your walls up can be really stressful, and sets a clear line in the sad for the other person; I’m not comfortable going further than this. Now! that is not to say that you shouldn’t have boundaries. As long as the root cause is not driven by fear, fear of rejection or being judged.
Every time we justify hiding our insecurities and choosing to be ignorant to our own limitations creates a habit, This habit keeps on getting reinforced every single time, before you know it you are emotionally repressed; living in a constant struggle to keep your ego intact, always vigilant for the next attack. Living this way can be exhausting, for this same exact reason, every small step we take for honest self-expression is another step to living a life not-so-filled with petty problems. Living an emotionally repressed life is hard work! it takes a lot of effort to keep all the cards in place.
In the in end is not worth it, not only does this hurt us and reinforces a false sense of self, but also hurts the people who want to connect with us.
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