Have you ever felt like your head won’t stop?
Banging and jumping around, just making a huge mess up there; going over the same old record, leaving you tired, head heavy and sad.
In the field of psychology, there is a term for the compulsive focus on one’s distress, excessive worrying about past or future causes and consequences. Both rumination and worry are associated with anxiety and other negative emotional states.
This is a matter that affects all hairless primates walking on this earth. Unfortunately, we humans have this marvelous miracle we call a brain, That… comes with its downsides.
Let’s face it, the Unknown is scary! Nowadays most people are just going along with the motions, chasing highs and Facebook feeds just to forget the world for a few seconds.
Without realizing it we are feeding the Scary monster under the bed.
Every time we go in deep about the past or the unpredictable future, we are deliberately digging our own graves. Regardless of all our efforts to find some insights, we struggle to find any. What do we find? Usually, resentment and blame. We blame our stupidity, our lack of knowledge and lastly the world for being such an unfair place.
How to prevent it
Thankfully we can use our badass Jedi training to prevent this kind of thing from happening in the first place. Yay!
There is scientific research proving that Mindfulness correlates with rumination:
More Mindfulness = Less rumination
Less mindfulness = more rumination (sad face)
Mindfulness-based practices have positive results in lowering rumination. A critical element of mindfulness “decentering” plays a major part in containing rumination: which is the action of deliberately attending to one’s thoughts and feelings without judgment. Basically, if you get good enough at mindfulness practices. You can defuse negative thoughts ‘like a boss’ and laugh on their face, HA! you puny thoughts.
How to contain it
All it takes are just 6 breaths, and I’m talking ‘BIG boy’ breaths. Like your lungs are gonna rip big! One of the best ways to keep your mind busy — Without a dought! — is to focus on the only thing that can keep you alive. Lowering blood pressure, promoting relaxation slowing brain activity and plenty more, deep breathing is a powerful tool indeed!. Give it a try, and instead of taking five take 6.
Connect with a positive mindset, strengthen the pathways in your brain. Be grateful, grateful for your life; That ‘you’ get to live, grateful for your eyes that lets you marvel in beauty, for your ears, so you can enjoy music, your legs, for your arms, so you can hug a loved one. grateful for family, that gives you warmth. Be grateful for teenage love, Be grateful for good food, grateful for ice-cream, for good friends, a warm bed and cold pillows, goosebumps and high-notes, a cool breeze on your privates, some morning coffee. A smile from a stranger. Be grateful to be here. Be grateful to yourself, that you’ve made it this far.
How to get rid of it or live with it
OK, so you want to make it stop. I’m going to share some personal advice that works for me. I’m not making any promises. If you’re brave enough to try it. Go ahead.
To eliminate the problem we need to understand it first.
We must go to the root of the problem and find it’s essence.
Fist we need to be conscious and realize that we are ruminating in the first place. After we realize we are ruminating we now start to find the reason for it. Find the problem that is keeping the mind busy; might be that party we couldn’t go to. That promise we didn’t keep, that homework that is due or maybe that date we have tomorrow.
Next step is to get a piece of paper and ask some tough questions. Why a piece of paper? when we ruminate we are getting a lot of thoughts coming in rapid succession; writing our thoughts in paper tells our minds to slow-down and helps us make them more concrete. Tough questions! what are you talking about? The reason being we ruminate in the first place: is that there is something that bothers us and we don’t find a proper medium or answer to relive our minds. By tough questions, I mean asking the right questions so we can find some *acceptance* or a change in perception on what is bothering us. So… “If you want better answers, you must ask better questions”.
Get your pen and paper and with a calm mind be open to new ideas, look at the bigger picture!
whatever you’re going through, there are people all over the world that are where you are right now or have already been there. It is all part of human nature.
Here are some examples:
– What could I have done differently?
– Have I been selfish without acknowledging it?
– Am I being straight up here?
– Am I after some dumb selfish thing that maybe I knew to let go?
– What is the underlining fear?
– Am I to blame for this in any way?
– Am I being rational about this or just following my emotions?
The most important of all.
“Is this the best time to think about this?”
“Can I do anything about this right now or am I just punishing myself?”
There is a good phrase which helps before diving deep into this; We can get some practical wisdom out of it, regardless of religious beliefs. Hopefully, it can be of use to you.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.